Creating a Christ-Centered Home

Yesterday after church I got a little grumpy!  Kevin said something that he has said a million times before when  I find myself grumpy, " You set the tone for our family!"  I hate it when he says this, it drives me crazy, why is all the reponsibility for setting the tone on me?  Can't I have a bad day, a grumpy moment?  Then this morning I read a conference talked entitled Creating A Christ Centered Home.  As I was reading it I realized a mother really does set the tone for here family.  It is my responsibility and I shouldn't take it lightly.  I need to be more aware of the things that come out of my mouth, of the anger that may exscape my lips.  My children learn from it, they learn from everything I do or do not do.   In his talk the Elder read a poem that is as follows:

’Twas a sheep not a lamb

That strayed away in the parable Jesus told,

A grown-up sheep that strayed away

From the ninety and nine in the fold.

And why for the sheep should we seek

And earnestly hope and pray?

Because there is danger when sheep go wrong:

They lead the lambs astray.

Lambs will follow the sheep, you know,

Wherever the sheep may stray.

When sheep go wrong,

It won’t take long till the lambs are as wrong as they.

And so with the sheep we earnestly plead

For the sake of the lambs today,

For when the sheep are lost

What a terrible cost

The lambs will have to pay.⁶

 

^{I love this poem it reminds me that what road I take my children follow.  When I use bad langauage my children follow, when I talk in anger my children follow.  When I pray to my Heavenly Father my children follow, when I allow a spirit of serivce, kindness, and love in my home and heart my children follow.  What road do I want them to travel?} 

Eternal Marriage

After a rough start to our day, I decided that I need to read a talk on marriage.  What I have been doing hasn't been effective, it is time to get on the right track.  It is time to let go of hurt feelings, of being defensive, of holding on to anger all day long.  It gets me no where and only bring unhappiness to myself and to all those around me.  I read a talk given by Elder Scott entitled The Blessings of Eternal Marriage.  In it he shared us life and love with his late wife and told about their struggles and triumphes and how they held their  love together.  It was uplifting to me.  In the beginning as he was talking about the things we need to do as righteous partners to make our marriage strong, I kept thinking Kevin needs to read this talk, Kevin could do that a lot better, those are things Kevin needs to work on.  Then it came to me I need to stop fixing Kevin and start fixing myself.  If I try harder, so more love, be more caring and selfless, he will follow my lead.  Its me not him that I need to worry about!  So I made some goals as Elder Scott was talking, I will make this my goal to try harder, love deeper, be more forgiving, more caring, and less selfish. 

- Be supportive of Kevins goals
-Tell him often how much I Love him
- Don't just tell him but show him, give him love they way he receives it not the way I do
-Express gratitude for the things he does do
-Leave him notes expressing to him how much I love and appreicate everything he does for me once a week. 
- Be kind in word and deed.  Do nice things for him, don't be so quick to anger
- when I need a break or feel those angery feelings approaching leave take a breather
- Communicate clearly my thoughts, needs , and emotions I can't get upset with him for not reading my mind.


Kevin and I have a great seven years together.  We have had our ups and downs, and trials along the way and will continue to.  But, I love him and I am glad I choose him.  I need to try harder, work on being more loving, devoted, supportive wife.   So that this will be our end result!

Remember

So this last week has been one of the longest weeks of my life.  Last Sunday my Grandpa Wheeler had a stroke and has went down hill since then.  He has made short recoveres here and there, but all week we have been basically waiting and watching.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster, one I would like to get off of  soon.  If it has been like this for me, just completely draining, I can't imagine what it is like for my poor mom.  She is a rock , she will make it through.  This morning after getting of the phone with her and decided to sit down and listen to a conference talk.  I was drawn to one given by Elder Nelson regaurding finding Faith in our Futures.  The talk began with him talking about his grandson and his future.  How he will grow up, get married, and one day say goodbye to his grandfather, knowing with faith that death is a part of our mortal life.  It went on to say that we live to die, and we die to live again.  They Lord know exactly what I need to hear.  It amazes me how ever present he is in my life!  I needed it because it seems like when we loose someone close to us questions arise, our faith is tested, we become uncertain of what really awaits us all after this life.  I have been pondering that a lot this last week, wondering if I will be scared when it is my time.  Wondering if my Grandpa is scared, if that's why he is still holding on.  Wondering if in that moment all our faith weavers ever so slittly.  However, I keep coming back to the same  thought , there is no way we came here for no reason, there has to be a purpose to our life, a purpose for our trials and ultimately our growth.  Then I get happy for my grandpa, happy that he has reached his end goal, happy that he accomplished what he came here to do, happy that so much awaits him on the otherside.  I hope he realizes that and his faith takes over not his fears.  " We live to die and we die to live again."  That phrases, that thought brings me so much peace, maybe I will share it today!  I know in my heart that when my Grandpa decides its ok to go, it won't be the last time I see him.  Thats why I refuse to say goodbye, it might be awhile before I see that old fart again, but I have no doubt he will be there waiting for me when my day comes.  I feel that so strongly in my heart, my spirit tries so hard to remind me when my faith starts to weaver.  It cries out don't worry, remember, remember the plan, remember why we our here, remember the rewards that await us on the other side.  So I will try my hardest today and everyday to simply remember!

Joseph Smith

Today I studied the life and testimony of Joseph Smith in my manual.  As I am truly searching to gain a very concerte testimony of this man and his life.  I have questions as I think every memeber of this church should have concerning him.  I think and hope that if we take those questions, study them and then take them to the Lord as Joseph did we will find the answers we seek.  At the end of the lesson there are varies questions they ask I would like to answer them. 

1. What experiences in your life have strengthed your testimony of the Prophet? 

The story of the prophets life and teachings have always been so fansicnating to me.  Not only from a religous stand-point but also from a historical one.  Both of those standpoints were very much filled when I was 18 and went on the Church History Trip with my friends after graduating highschool.  While on the trip I learned so much about the prophet, about his character, about his personality, his personal and public life.  I learned so much about his mission on this earth.  After that trip my spiritual cup was filled to the brim and help form my testimony in so many ways.  Some of the experiences that struck a cord with me the most were:

A.  Visiting the grave cite of the Prophet, his wife Emma, and his brother Hyrum.  Seeing and touching with my own two hands the grave of the Prophet was very special for me.  It made him a "real" person to me.  A person with a family whom he loved greatly, a person with real dreams and goals.  A person with faults and temptations who because of his faith was able to work through them.  For the first time in my young  life I connected his story to my own, and found comparisons between us. 
B.  Visting the Sacred Grove, I will never forget this experience as long as I live.  Watching a group of crazy teenagers gather in those scared woods, and seeing tears fall from all of our eyes, and not one of us uttering a word.  Knowing you our hearts after leaving there that it was a special area that something amazing had happened there.  I will never, as long as I live on this earth forget it!

C.  Visting Carthliage Jail was another amazing experience.  Reliving the final moments, and the final sacrafice of his life.   Knowing that he was willing to endure so much and then ultimatley give up his life for what he knew was true.  I wonder if I would be able to have that kind of courage, I wonder if I will ever exercise that kind of faith.  I can only hope.   Knowing that he was so at peace with everything, that he understood that his life would be taken and being ok with that.  Knowing that he know that God lives and that this eartly experience was only but a small portion and that he would be returning to the God who gave him life.  He was not scared of death he  knew there was so much more that awaited him. 

I hope as I continue this spirtual journey that I will begin to build my testimony of this gospel, of our Savior Jesus Christ, and of his prophets back up to where it should be.  That I will realize that I am on this earth to became a better more prepared version of myself.  That when my mission is over that i will not be scared but that like Joseph I will realize that there is eternites that await me. 

Prepare...Or be excluded

Not a suprise that my new years resolution is this. It was the same last year and I do believe i got better, but not where I wanted to be. This year we will try harder, make more of an effort to be truly converted, truly a member of the Church. I read a lesson today on the life and Teachings of George Albert Smith. It was on being just that, on not just talking about doing the right things, but on truly doing them. On not just being satisficed with having your names on the books as a Saint, but on actually living like one. So that is what I am aiming for this year on being prepared so that when the day comes I or anyone I love will not be excluded.