Yesterday was rough......

Yesterday was rough there is no way around it. I was in a funk that lastest all day and made me angry towards those I love. I felt bad for myself about everything. I guess I read to many blogs where it looks like the moms are wonder women. They have the perfect home, which is perfectly decorated, they have creative fun activites for the kids to do, and make wonderful meals every night. How do they do it I can't manage, I try my best which is all I can do. But, it was making me down among other things. Sometimes, every now and then I still miss teaching. I still have moments where I wonder if that will ever happen, how it will happen if I am out of the field completely. It scares me because I want it so bad. So all day I had the urge on my shoulder to read my scriptures, so at nap time i did. I still don't know what will happen, I think that my Heavenly Father gave me those talents and the opportunity to get my degree he intends on me using it at one point or another, to help his sheep. It will happen I just have to wait for us time. I am where he wants me to be now that I am aware of, because despite trying it has never happened. I don't now I will try to do better and have more faith.

Learning about his life

Well its been a day or two, so here we go again! Lately I have been realizing what a great life I have, how truly blessed I am. Just how much I have been given, the scripture phrase " to whom much is given, much is required," comes to mind. My Heavenly Father has given me so much with the hopes that I would use my talents, my testimony to build up his kingdom. I fear I have been letting him down greatly in the past few years. Sometimes I wonder why me, why have I been born to such a great family, in such a great country. Why have I been born into this gospel, been surronded my whole life by people who encourage me, build me up, and make me stronger. Why have I been given some great talents and then been given the means to continue my education and find a career I love. Why have I been given such a wonderful, talented, hard-working husband. Why have I been given the wonderful gift of motherhood and been blessed with two beautiful, healthy, smart children? Why??? I don't know why but I am truly thankful for what I have been given. Far to often I think on the days troubles, the things I don't have, and I forget the days blessings. I have been given so much! I am making small strides to becoming a better more Christ like person. I was doing so good for so long, and then things went not bad, but just not the way I had planed and then I fell of the bandwagon. My goal is to be like Christ, to learn from him, from his life, and his plan. To build up my testimony, make it stronger, more unbreakable. So that the next time my life doesn't go as planned, I will not crumble. Because I will understand it is all in God's hands, in his plan. It is part of the process, something I have to learn to become more like him. I have started reading and studying the New Testiment and it is my goal to read and study all the way through the Doctrine and Covenants. Call is a New Years Goal just a little early.

TODAY IAM GRATEFUL FOR:

- bonding time in the early morning hours with my sweet Eva Grace, I love her so much
-I am thankful for my husband who encouraged me to read the New Testiment and learn more about my Saviors life.
-I am thankful for this holiday season it is my favorite time of year.
- I am thankful for second chances, and third, and fourth, and so on until we get it right- the Lord doesn't care how many times we try just that we are doing it.